My best Christmas Gift

I hope that everyone had a wonderful Christmas and got to spend time with family and friends enjoying the true meaning of Christmas. This morning as I was thinking about my favorite gift that I received this Christmas (we'll get to that in a minute), I was reminded of the best gift that I have ever received, Salvation. It is so easy to get lost in the hub bub of the holidays and the giving and receiving of gifts, and forget about the true meaning of CHRISTmas. God has given us the world, the greatest gift of all. He sent his son Jesus Christ, a perfect sinless man, to die on the cross for our sins so that we may be forgiven and have the opportunity to spend eternity in Heaven with him. Many of you know from previous posts, that this is the year that Kinsley got saved, but what you may not know is that this is also the year that I got saved. October 6, 2008 is the day I was born again. So this Christmas has really had new meaning for me. Many of you probably remember in your journeys, as a new Christian the struggles that you faced as you learned further about what the Bible says and as you grew in your faith. At first I thought it was just me, but it has been a comfort to know I am not the only new believer who this happens to. And that just as God forgave me of my sins when I was saved, he continues to forgive me. No physical gift can top that.



Now, though, as Pastor Tenney says, we all love gifts, Amen. There is no denying that. This year for Christmas, my girls got me new jammie pants and fuzzy socks. And as many as you know from reading previous posts, Jammie pants and fuzzy socks just out of the dryer are my no fail feel good comfort.

After a chaotic morning, I returned home to a house that looked like a hurricane hit. I spent several hours cleaning up bits of paper and boxes and those little plastic pieces and wire that they use to detain toys more securely than maximum security prisoners and trying to find a place for all the new toys. I finally reached a point where my house looked livable and decided to put my feet up and relax for a bit in my new fuzzy socks.

I hope that you all had a wonderful Christmas and that you had time, even just a few moments, to enjoy all the wonderful things in your life, family, friends, fuzzy socks and most of all the true meaning of Christmas!

Kinsley prayed for school

During Wednesday evening service, Pastor Tenney always takes prayer requests, which we pray for as a church. No request is too large, small or trivial, and we always encourage the children to participate as well so that they can learn the power and importance of prayer. Much to my surprise, Kinsley prayed that they would have school today. I was very surprised that she would want to go back to school after having been off for three days and gotten to spend those days with her Dad and her Grandpa Dave. I think she just missed socializing with her friends.

Snow, or rather Ice Day

All weekend it was forecasted that we would get nasty weather last night, and Kins informed me every opportunity she got that she would not have school on Monday. I kept telling her, just wait and see what happens, we don't know if it will actually be that bad. Last night she told me that she could stay up late because she wouldn't have school today. I informed her too bad, I still have to go to work. I got the call from School district at 5:30 this morning that school has been canceled. I must say that I love this new system, not having to get up and watch television or listen to the radio to hear the school cancellations, they call me and let me know. In the past, it never failed that I would sit so patiently waiting to hear the school cancellations, and then oops, get distracted right before they came on and miss it, and then wait patiently and dang it, missed it again. This works out very well!

Kenneth and I had already discussed that if there was no school today, I would just bring the girls to him, but that he might have to work over a little depending on the roads and if there were any accidents. So I let the girls sleep in a little, knowing that I could just throw them in the car in their jammies. When Kins woke up the first question out of her mouth was "..School Today?" There was something before the school today, but she was half asleep and entirely too excited for me to make out what the mumbling was. When I said, no, there's no school, she exclaimed "YESSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!" and then took off down the hall in a dance that can only be described as a rendition of Pee Wee Herman with a little Jim Carey thrown in. I really wish I had a video. I just shook my head.

A Pianist is Born

Juliana discovered recently that she could pull herself up to the piano, reach up really high, and if the lid was open, she could touch the keys. This has now become her favorite thing to do "play the piano." Last night I caught her in the act. And actually, surprisingly enough, the music is nearly as good as she is cute. Maybe she'll be a great concert pianist.

Grandma always comes through

Karly's Rudolph nose didn't last long, maybe a day at most before it was no longer flashing and then pulled apart. What did I really expect for 1.99? Grandma came through though! Before coming home for the weekend, my mom emailed me to ask if Karly had gotten the Rudolph antlers yet. We don't usually go to Break Time, so we had not been back to get the antlers and I was sorry to report the nose had broken. Grandma believing that Karly really needed those antlers stopped Friday and picked up antlers and new noses for both Kins and Karly.

Then it really got fun, and Karly decided that Juliana needed to wear the antlers too.

Good Morning!

Juliana is such a happy baby! I am so lucky in that she rarely fusses, even when tired or sick, and always has a smile on her face. Her big grin and content nature are very contagious, you can't help but smile at her. Without even trying she can make the worst days so much better. Some of the best moments of my day are in the morning when she wakes up. She always gets so excited to see me and greets me with the biggest grin. This morning, I came prepared and took a few pictures to share.

Karly the Red Nosed Reindeer

Karly was at the gas station with me today and found this red nose that she just had to have. For 1.99, I thought what the heck. It even has a little light in it that flashes. She was so proud of her nose and showed it to everyone she saw. She is desperately trying to talk me into going back to Break Time to buy the felt antlers to go with it.

Graham Cracker Houses

The past few years I've had difficulty getting into the Christmas spirit. I'm not quite sure why that has been, but I have decided that this year, that will just not do. So, I am jumping head first into Christmas. I have some Christmas Shopping done, including all of my stocking stuffers. For those of you in search of some cool stocking stuff, check out the $1 bins at Michaels and Target. I got some really fun stuff for the girls and hardly spent anything. This weekend I decided what better way to get into the Holiday spirit than a little baking.

The girls and I made graham cracker houses Saturday evening. I bought a box of graham crackers and made 2 lbs of frosting (I wasn't sure how much they would waste). We had a blast, but had some difficulty with our frosting holding up. It took us a while, but after about 5 crashed houses a piece, we finally got the roofs to stay on. The girls did very well with all the crashes, and Kinsley only got frustrated when her M&M roof broke in two, thereby rendering it useless and having to start over. Karly decorated hers all by herself, and much to my surprise I didn't even have to instruct her on how to do it. I looked over and she was dipping M&M's and gumdrops into the frosting with no help at all.

Karly's Graham Cracker House

Kinsley's Graham Cracker House

After the girls went to their dad's house yesterday and Juliana laid down for a nap, I made sugar cookies to use up the rest of the frosting. I still have about half of it left, so the girls and I will be making a lot of cookies this week. After years of experimenting, I have finally found the perfect sugar cookie recipe, one that is not too sweet and holds it's shape when baking cut out cookies. In addition I made some snowball cookies and homemade truffles. I love to bake, but I hate having all those sweets around my house, so I took them all to church last night. I'm guessing they were good because I brought home empty containers.

I hope that you all are having a Wonderful Holiday Season thus far!

Pardon my lack of entries lately...

The girls and I have been sick, starting last Wednesday with a call from school that someone needed to pick Kinsley up from school because she was ill. Since then we have battled fevers, runny noses, coughs, and me with strep throat. I was just thinking this morning how one take's for granted that feeling of being well. Today is the first day since Thursday that I have felt 100% or at least as close as I usually feel to it, and what a relief it is. I am thankful that overall, except a few minor virus and ailments here and there my girls and I are all healthy.

I am also thankful for Adam, Brandi and Kenneth. Without the three of them, the past week would have been much worse. I am very lucky that both Adam and Kenneth are there for their daughters when they are sick, and there to spend time with their daughters when I am sick. Kenneth dropped what he was doing many times and took off from work several days to pick the girls up from school and take care of Kinsley while I was at work or sick, and asked quite often what he could do to help me. Adam too spent extra time with Juliana when I couldn't take care of her, brought me movies and mashed potatoes and even cleaned while I slept. And Brandi checked in on me routinely, asked often what she could do to help me, and occasionally made me laugh. I am very lucky to have all three of them, and fortunate to have such a great support system in times like these.

Who's the Old Lady?

Kinsley has had an interest in crafts lately, probably because I have started doing more again. So, Monday night I took the girls to the store and we bought plastic grids, plastic needles and they got to pick out their own yarn. I'm sure there is a name for this particular "sewing" but I'm not sure what it is. Maybe one of my readers can tell me. My babysitter Judy taught me how to do this when I was about Kinsley's age, and I thought she would enjoy it.

Our first project has been bookmarks, Kinsley's is a cross and Karly wanted to make an H. I have been helping Karly with hers as the needle is difficult to pull through the grid. Kins, however, caught on very quickly and has been working on it quite a bit.

This morning when I got up, Kins was already awake and had been "sewing" for a while she said and wanted to take it to school with her to work on during recess and at BacPac. So... now who is the "old lady?"

My daughter called me an "old lady"

I decided recently that I wanted to learn to crochet. A few weeks ago I came across a craft book that I have had for many years and had forgotten about. In flipping through it, I found a lot of great things I would like to make, but over half of the book involved crocheting or knitting. So I decided I would learn to crochet and promptly bought supplies and set out on this endeavor. I will post soon about my (mis)adventures in crocheting. Now, I have joked to a few people as I am crocheting that I have turned into an old lady, but have not said that to my daughters.

Last night the girls and I called my mom to wish her a Happy Birthday. During the conversation Kinsley told her grandma that her mom was sewing like an old lady, except that old ladies use two needles instead of one. OH MY! It's official, my daughter thinks I'm old. I tried to overlook the statement, and correct her in saying, two needles is kitting, I'm crocheting, but what I really wanted to scream is "I'm not an OLD LADY!"

Shhh! Don't tell my girls!

I have had the girls quite a bit extra lately since Kenneth has been deer hunting. Not that I'm complaining, I love the extra time with them. But, that being said, I'm due for a little quiet grown up time. So... this afternoon, I am skipping out of work and Brandi and are going to one of our favorite stores...drum roll please... Michael's, and probably Hobby Lobby too. We are in search of craft projects that we can do with the girls to give as Christmas gifts, and have a few ideas of things we are going to make for the girls as well.

Happy Birthday to the Best Mom and Grandma Ever!

Happy Birthday to my Mom, the greatest woman I know! I have the most amazing mom in the world, and my girls are lucky to have the best Grandma ever!

A few things about my mom...

She is the most intelligent woman that I have ever met. Some people are book smart, some people have common sense, some people have emotional intelligence. My mom is all three. And I only hope I have half the brains she does.

She is very funny. We have the same dry sense of humor that most people wouldn't get, but we do, and even at some of the worst times, we can find something great to laugh about.

She is beautiful. I remember when I was younger, she used to die her hair bleach blond and paint her nails the same color as her cougar, and I thought she looked trashy. Sorry mom, gotta say it. And now I look at her, and she looks so much prettier and classier. She really is a beautiful woman!

She is a much nicer Grandma than she was a mom. My girls adore her. She lets them drink coffee, eat junk food in the living room all day and put on her lipstick. I never got to do those things, but I look at myself now, and I turned out pretty darn good, and I owe it all to my mom who raised me on her own. I hope I'm half the mother she is.

She is the strongest woman I have ever met. My mom has not had an easy life, there have been many challenges for her. But she met them all with strength and grace. If you see her now, you see the smart, very successful hard working woman that she is. I see all that she has ever been, ever gone through and that most people have never known, and I know that she is AMAZING!

Happy Birthday to My Mom! I LOVE YOU!

Thank God for My Best Friend

I'm really not sure where to begin this, other than I thank God daily for my best friend. I have known her for forever, but only recently did we become friends, and she very quickly barged right into my heart as my best friend. Brandi, or Momma B as the girls refer to her as, is very straight forward, brutally honest, and always funny. There isn't a day that goes by that she doesn't have me almost wetting my pants in laughter with something that she has said, and it's always the truth. The things you think to yourself about people, she says. And not in a gossipy, behind their back kind of way, she just tells you how it is, even me. And she doesn't hesitate to make fun of herself or laugh at her own flaws. And I love that about her.

The other thing I love about her is that she is always there for me! No matter what, when I need to vent, when I need to cry, when I need someone to quote the scripture and tell me that I'm doing wrong, when I need help or just someone to make me smile, she's there. It is so difficult in this world to find truly good people, people who put everyone else first and do things because it is the right thing to do and because they care, not because they are going to get something out of it in return. It's also very hard to find someone that you can trust everything to, and I am so lucky to have found that. I have told her things that the national enquirer would pay to know, and she has never told a soul. She loves my girls just like they are her own and has helped me out so many times with them.

I am so very lucky to have Brandi in my life and I thank God everyday that he brought us together when he did, when we both needed each other so much. I hope that everyone knows at least one person in their life like this.

To Momma B~ because I know you'll read this! Thank you for all you do for the girls and I. And thank you for being my best friend!

Missouri Contemporary Ballet

Momma B and I took our big girls (Kins, Karly Q, Roz and Syd) to see the Missouri Contemporary Ballet at Champ Auditorium last night. They performed their new show titled "Renewal." It was really beautiful and I encourage you to see a performance by the MCB if you ever get a chance. The three oldest girlies enjoyed the show very much and talked non stop about it on the way home. Karly enjoyed what she saw of it, as she fell asleep in my lap shortly after intermission. But this was only after she told on the people behind us for using their flash on their camera. She said to me in her under her breath you're gonna get busted voice, "Mom, they aren't supposed to take pictures." Since we couldn't take pictures of the ballet, I've included one of Karly sleeping through it.

http://www.missouricontemporaryballet.com/

Carol Brady is my hero

Last night I kept my best friend Brandi's girls while she was out of town. She too has three beautiful and amazing little girls, whom I love as much as my own. Her oldest two are the same ages as my oldest two and her youngest is almost 3. So, I had 2 8 year olds, 2 5 year olds a three year old and baby Jules. Whew! Last night went well, they all got along great, we had pizza, they did their homework, were bathed and in bed by 8:30. Mission Accomplished, pat on the back for Momma Kell. I'm feeling pretty good about this, thinking that wasn't so bad, even bragging to Momma B (Brandi) about how well I did.

Then this morning hit. Oh My, that's what I get for being boastful. It started well, I got up early and started getting ready and they all got up before 7 on their own, with no prodding from me. Clothes were picked out, breakfast was prepared, and then it all went downhill. It is very difficult to keep 5 girls motivated to get themselves ready when there are so many other fun things to do. I had to ask many times to get shoes on, to brush their hair, quit playing around and get ready. Now, they are not bad kids, they behave really well, they just get distracted easily, and I get stressed easily when I'm running behind. The poor babies probably think that the devil possessed me this morning with all the yelling and threatening to spank their little butts. Much to my surprise we made it out the door on time, only to look in my rear view mirror to see Roz (Brandi's oldest) sitting in the back seat, hair all a mess. I calmly ask, Roz, did you comb your hair this morning, uh, no, I forgot. And I think how do you forget to brush your hair when you have this crazy woman screaming at you through gritted teeth every 5 minutes, GIRLS, BRush your HAIR , put your SHOES on NOW! I pulled back up to the house, ran into the bathroom, grabbed a brush and tossed it to Roz in the backseat, luckily I didn't hit one of them in the head with it as it flew through the car. Off to school as she brushed her hair. Within a few moments, they were laughing and talking, so I'm hoping that I didn't scar them for life and praying for forgiveness for all the not nice words I used this morning.

I drop the oldest 4 at school. Take Jules to Miss Lois's, who tells me in engrish, Yessaday, I pway Pano, baby yayayayaya. And laugh all the way to Ellie's daycare. When I take Ellie (Brandi's baby) in, she kisses me and tells me I luv you Kewwi. Awww.... and that made it all better. I drive to work, laughing about my adventures from the morning and think to myself, I'm glad I'm not Carol Brady, 6 is too many for me.

You have to laugh

Let me preface this with, I did not write the following exchange, for those of you who don't know, it was taken from "The Office." If you have not seen "The Office", I highly recommend you check it out. The first time I watched part of an episode, I thought this is stupid, it's ridiculous, why would anyone ever watch this. But then I got hooked. The best way to describe it is to think of all of the people that you've ever worked with that irritated you, that were lazy, that you had to explain everything to. You know, the ones you go home at night and shake your head at wondering how these people even have a job. Put all those people in a company together and then film their everyday interactions, that's "The Office" and it's hilarious.

To preface this, Michael Scott is the boss or manager in this particular office, and he has jokingly told a gay coworker that he is being faggy.

Michael Scott: I call everybody faggy. Why would anyone find that offensive?
Toby: I think Oscar would like it if you just used "lame" or something.
Michael Scott: But that's what faggy means!

Michael Scott: You don't call retarded people retards. It's bad taste. You call your friends retards when they are acting retarded. And I consider Oscar a friend.

A friend reminded me of this quote last night, and I literally burst out in laughter, startling my sleeping daughter. I admit it is very politically incorrect and very offensive, but you have to laugh, I certainly did, and do every time I hear it.

Jammie Pants and Fuzzy Socks

Everyone has that one thing that always makes them feel good no matter what. For some people that's momma's comfort food, for some a favorite song or movie, for some a bubble bath, for others maybe a favorite season or place. My no fail feel good are jammie pants and fuzzy socks, worn together of course, and even better when fresh out of the dryer. Yesterday was one of those days for me where things were just bleh. There really wasn't anything wrong, it wasn't one of those days were everything goes wrong, in fact nothing terribly wrong had happened, it was just a cold late fall day, in which I was informed I have to work overtime on Saturday, I rush to pick up my girlies, two of the three with runny noses and off to church where Karly Q refused to behave. I get home to a house that's messy, laundry that needs to be done and I know the next few nights are going to be just as hectic.

I finally got all the girls to bed, and I sat down to read my bible, the verses from the sermon that I missed tonight trying to get Karly to sit still. Then I put on my jammie pants, well actually ones I seem to have inherited, my fuzzy socks and climbed into bed. Yes, I slept in my socks, something I normally don't do, but it felt good. This morning I woke earlier than usual and it was a new day. I straightened up a little, baked a pie for work and turned around to the most wonderful surprise, Karly Q, also up earlier than usual, ready for a big hug.

No Jumping On The Bed

I love it when babies learn to stand up, and they pull themselves up in the morning, hanging on to the rail of their crib, bouncing up and down, grinning ear to ear, so proud of themselves. Juliana has reached that stage, and every morning it brings a smile to my face and a warmy fuzzy to my heart when I walk in to get her out of her crib.

Karly loves to play with Juliana, especially in the mornings. As soon as she wakes up, she makes a beeline for Juliana's crib. This morning, Karly scolded Jules and said "JuliANA (put the emphasis on ANA), NO jumping on the BED!"

As you read that, you have to imagine the 5 year old, saying under her breath with emphasis, NO jumping on the BED, as in, Juliana, you are going to get in trouble if mom sees you.

Juliana got a sucker!

This past saturday Kinsley announced that we were going to have a family party that evening. She devoted her entire day to preparing for the party. I think she gets that from me. She prepared the menu (halloween candy, popcorn and bottled water), came up with games for us to play and decorated the living room. I had to laugh at some of things she came up with, including "tell your deepest darkest secret" to which hers was that she still has a crush on a boy that she used to go to preschool with.

The highlight of the evening, other than just spending time with all three girls was Juliana's first sucker. Now, my friend Brandi can attest to the fact the poor baby never gets anything good. After having one baby who suffered miserably from acid reflux, I tend to limit her diet to things I know won't upset her tummy. I nearly fainted when Brandi gave her tiny taste of icing at Kinsley's birthday party. So this was a stretch, but I couldn't help it. She was sitting at Kinsley's party table with us munching on her cheerios while the rest of us chowed down on junk. So... momma caved and gave Juliana a cherry dum dum sucker. She LOVED it! In fact, she got mad when I took it away after only a few licks. Kinsley kept stealing it from my plate and giving it to Jules, and she would scream every time I took it away.

Growing Girls

For those of you who don't know, Kinsley got saved two weeks ago last night, and this past Sunday, she was Baptized. I got the pleasure of standing at the edge of the baptistry to watch and wait, towel in hand as she emerged. I was the first face she saw as she arose from the water. I have never seen my daughter look so beautiful, so peaceful and so happy. That moment is one that I will forever hold locked in my heart and my mind. Knowing that she made this decision completely on her own, without any push from me, makes it even more special. I have taken her to church regularly and I remind her and sit with her as she says her prayers, but her decision to be Saved is one that she came to without my pushing or prodding. Which for those of you who know me, know was very difficult for me. I am the mother that is overly involved with her children's lives and activities, the one that the teacher's hate to meet with at parent teacher conferences, so for me to sit back and not push and completely let God take control of the situation was a challenge for me.


I have been very proud of Karly and her Christian growth as well. Some people might question that as they see me quickly sweep her out of the church and into the training room during the sermon for a stern discussion or spanking because she can't behave. But there are many moments that no one sees but me, that tell me that God is in Karly's heart, whether she acknowledges that or not. It is evident when she gets excited about going to church and on Wednesdays wants to go to church first and school second instead of vice versa. It was evident about 2 weeks ago when Juliana was fussing in her crib and Karly, bless her heart, was trying everything she could do to make her sister happy. I suggested that Karly sing to her, to which Karly replied she didn't know any songs. I asked her "Karly do you know 'Jesus Loves Me'" and she exclaimed, "Mom, Jesus loves EVERYBODY". So again, I am challenged not to push or prod my daughter, but rather to trust in the LORD and let Karly do this on her own.

Out of the mouths of babes

Someone who doesn't know me very well sent me a message yesterday on myspace and complimented me on my beautiful little girls and said I don't know how you do it with three girls. My response was something along the lines, of one day at a time, patience and lots of laughter. So... I thought I would share with some of you some of my laughter from last night. If you don't know Karly you may or may not find it as amusing, but those of you who know Karly, will get quite a laugh from this.
First I must explain a little about our night. I have told the big girls (Kins and Karly) that we would paint pumpkins this week, so last night was the night. We bought the Elmers Paint Brushes that have the paint in them, because I mistakenly thought they would be less mess. That joke was on me. So as Miss Kins and Karly Q sat in a sea of newspapers in the middle of the kitchen floor covered in paint, having a wonderful time painting their pumpkins, I busied myself trying to straighten up the rest of the kitchen and make dinner, chatting with the girls about their pumpkin designs. Juliana was playing on the living room floor.
All of the sudden, Karly very frantic says, Mom, Mom we need an evacuation. I thought, EVACUATION? What in the world, so I turn around and Juliana is army crawling towards the pumpkin mess with a very determined look. I could not help but laugh at a 5 year old who believes her baby sister needs to be evacuated from the kitchen, and of course couldn't help but wonder where she learned a word like evacuation.
As the evening progresses, the girls have finished their pumpkins, had a shower to clean up the paint mess and the newspaper paint disaster has found it's way to the trash can and in it's place are two proudly painted pumpkins drying on a piece of newspaper in the kitchen floor. While the girls are eating their supper, I begin getting Juliana's nebulizer ready for her breathing treatment and Karly, again frantic, says, "Mom, Mom we have a situation!" A situation? Intrigued I ask what, and she exclaims "Juliana is going to get the pumpkins". As I have my hands full, I say "ok, just a second", to which Karly replies matter of factly, "NO, mom, she crawls fast now!" I laughed as I dropped what I was doing and rushed to evacuate Juliana from the kitchen yet again much to Karly's relief.

Moms have to brag a little sometimes...

So I just had a few minutes, and I was sitting here looking at a picture of my three girls, and thinking how very blessed I am. God has given me three beautiful, amazing, intelligent little girls.


Miss Kins and I have been struggling a little this year with her homework, moreso the amount of it rather than the difficulty. I think it is a little extreme that she is in 2nd grade and some nights we have nearly two hours of homework to do. That being said, it is paying off. She has made great strides in her reading and math abilities. Last week she was in the top 5 math scores and a couple weeks ago she was in the top 5 reading scores in her class. We have also struggled in recent years with her growing attitude and mouthiness. This was never tolerated by my parents, and I don't intend to tolerate it either. It has been a struggle to say the least, but someone recently commented to me that they have seen big improvements with the girls, including Kinsley's ability to not argue when she's told something.


Karly Q started kindergarten this year, and for those of you that know her, know that she is way too smart for her own good, but she is a free spirit and one that is difficult to rein in. I am so pleased to report that we have not had any behavior issues at school with her. She does tell me that she DOES NOT LIKE school, actually she uses the word hate, which I am trying to teach her not to say. However, she very much enjoys practicing writing her letters, tracing them first with solid lines, then dotted lines and then attempting them on her own. She also has recently created her own activity in which I have written large numbers on paper and she uses pennies to create the numbers. She has a facination with money, and I'm trying to find creative ways to use that to my advantage. On the way back from the Zoo this weekend, Kinsley spouted off something though hilarious, not very nice to my mom, though I don't think she really intended for it to be as rude as it came out. As my mom and I were trying very hard to hold in our laughter, Karly very solemnly and seriously says, Kinsley that was not nice, you need to say you are sorry. I don't know which was funnier, but it was also a very proud moment for me in that Karly is learning how to speak politely and kindly to others.


Jules is growing up so very quickly. She army crawls all over the place, and much to my dismay ventures down the hall and to the big girls rooms. She has started pulling herself up to her knees and while enjoys sitting up, can't quite get herself into that position yet. She is eating solid foods and like most babies prefers the fruits, though she does not turn her nose up at vegetables like the older two did. She will rather quickly show you she does not like peas or green beans though. She had her first trip to the Zoo this past weekend, and as always loved just riding in the stroller and enjoying the nice weather. She didn't get too interested in the animals, other than the sea lions which she particular enjoyed. She did however grow quite attached to a stuffed penquin, stuffed monkey and stuffed leopard, the leopard came home with us.
Thank you for bearing with me as I count my blessings this morning and take a moment to talk about how proud I am of my three beautiful (inside and out) little girls.

I accept that I cannot do it all.

All of my life I have been a do'er. I have never been one to ask for help and I am reluctant to accept it when offered, I have wanted to do it all and on my own. I have always viewed it as a sign of failure on my part if someone has to help me or if everything in my life is not just so. I have always wanted to be the woman who does it all, has a great career, has children that are well mannered and always neat and well dressed, has a spouse that is satisfied in every way, whose house is always clean and smells like delicious homecooked meals, and above all to be able to do all of this with a smile on my face. I have set about to accomplish this goal time and time again with the thought that there are women that can do this, it is expected of me, I can do it as well. Nothing has ever broken my heart so much as to have it pointed out to me that while I have been busy trying to tend to all these areas that I missed one, that while I was busy mothering my children, my laundry had not been folded, or while I was trying to satisfy my husband, my sink was full of dishes, or while my house was spotless, I was still in my t shirt and sweatpants and my makeup was still smeared from the night before, or while my children were neat and pressed and acting like angels my husband had strayed. Sometimes I tried to accomplish these goals on only a few hours of sleep, and found myself snapping at the 20th "mom" instead of tenderly saying, yes baby. I tried to be everything to everyone around me and everyone that I loved, leaving nothing for myself.


I realize now, I cannot do it all. I am a single mother of three beautiful, intelligent, amazing little girls. There are nights that I crash into bed at 10 o'clock and my to do list is barely half done. I have laundry that while clean, has yet to be folded, and my bed has not been made since Sunday, and only because I washed my sheets and had to put them back on the bed. My floor has been swept, but I can't remember when I last mopped it, and it really needs it. I have no time to date or make sure that a man feels wanted in my life. And sometimes when my daughter wakes up during the night, I cry because I am so exhausted and it would be nice to have someone there to help me. The difference now though, is that I accept this, and I accept that I cannot do it all, really no one can, at least not anyone I know. It's ok that while Karly's hair is combed everyday, it rarely looks "in place" because she has curls and she is 5 and too busy having fun to be bothered with pulling it back or taming it down. It is ok that Kinsley's room is a mess, because we spend more time on her homework than we do her home work, and it shows in her reading and math scores. And it is ok that while I remembered to put the trash can out this morning for pick up, I didn't quite get the trash in the kitchen and the bathroom out to the trash can first, it's alright, I can do it tonight. Now this is not to say I have become a slob who doesn't care. I still make sure my children have a home cooked meal to eat every night, there homework is done, clean clothes picked out for the next day and a bath before bed and I make sure the dishes from that day are put away and the counters wiped off. Then I go to bed, where most of the time I enjoy stretching out across my empty bed and knowing that I did what I needed to do to have happy healthy children, and I did it by myself. But sometimes I do miss the feel of a warm body against mine on a crisp fall night.


I encountered this blog today and found it very nice to know that I'm not the only woman that struggles with the need to do it all and disappointment when I feel like I have failed in that attempt. And it's a nice reminder that there are things that really matter and things that don't. A happy healthy family does. And I have three happy, healthy, intelligent, beautiful little girls who know they are loved.

http://girltalk.blogs.com/girltalk/

Happy Birthday Miss Kins!

Happy Birthday Miss Kins!

Today my beautiful Miss Kins turns 8 years old, and in classic Miss Kins style, the entire day must be a tribute to her.

A few things about my daughter:

She is prompt to tell you that she was born in New York.

She is a daddy's girl, always has been, always will be.

She loves music and she loves to dance. I am really going to be in trouble someday.

She will not be rushed. In fact it took her father and I 11 months to conceive her and she was a week overdue.

She has very eclectic taste in movies. At three, she was quick to tell you that she wanted to watch "ward of da wings" (Lord of the Rings).

She is a protector and nurturer to her mother and sisters, always trying to take care of all us.

She is effortlessly the center of attention everywhere she goes.


8 years ago today at 4:36 p.m. Kinsley Grace entered the world, and taught me what it meant to love someone more than myself and to sacrifice all for another human being. She has taught me that being a mother is the best job I will ever have.

Happy Birthday My Princess!